


Code Name : Dream Machine

by jade_lil



Category: Arashi (Band)
Genre: Arashi - Freeform, Fluff and Crack, M/M, Ohmiya - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-01-21
Updated: 2013-01-21
Packaged: 2017-11-26 09:06:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,995
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/648923
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jade_lil/pseuds/jade_lil
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sent out on a mission to save Aiba, Ohno learned that being an agent wasn’t as easy as the others claimed it to be.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Code Name : Dream Machine

**Author's Note:**

  * For [jamiestewart88](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=jamiestewart88).



“They have motion detectors!” Nino spluttered, looking up above and around him, eyes sharp and focused at the same time he reached behind him to make sure Ohno wasn’t about to make a stupid move by actually checking it out himself. He knew the older man was actually about to make his move because he could feel him shifting slightly behind him, his side bumping against Nino’s back as he shifted. He hissed under his breath, turned and grabbed Ohno’s hand while his other hand went around the back of the older man’s head and tugged him down before he could even think of doing something completely idiotic. That was probably why Sakurai-kun never trusted the older man in going out on a mission with Aiba or in some cases, in which Ohno actually demanded the higher ups for him to be sent alone (“ _I need to prove them I’m worth the badge, Nino!_ ”), simply because Ohno was either too dumb or too absent-minded to be trusted with his own life. 

It was stupid and reckless to indulge the older man’s whining _(“It’s a formal request! I filled up the proper forms, I really did! Aiba-chan helped me with the kanji and Jun-kun was there to check it for me and he signed it after I kissed his cheek!” – “No, Ohchan, the form you filled up was for the insurance, not for this mission. And let me look at your lips, is it still okay? You don’t feel itchy or anything?”)_ but he couldn’t really blame Jun for actually giving in just because he knew how persuasive Ohno could be when he wanted to. But really, though Jun sometimes pissed the hell out of him (scratch that, he pissed him all the time, that bastard), he couldn’t help but love him a little (just a little bit) for actually having the brains to call him out on the last minute to back the older man up. 

Ohno didn’t seem particularly angry upon seeing him, only throwing him a mildly reproachful look and a pout that made him want to push the older man down the floor and literally eat his mouth (coz he’s hungry and Ohno’s lips looked delectably enticing and mouth-watering) but stopped himself immediately after Ohno’s expression changed abruptly into slightly panicked one and his eyes lit up in a way that said he was glad someone arrived to eventually take the responsibility off his poor shoulders. Nino patted the older man’s back and told him not to worry, he came specifically to bring them both home alive including Sho Sakurai’s favorite boy toy. 

“ – don’t make any unnecessary movements, Ohchan,” Nino mumbled, placing one hand down the pavement and the other tugging Ohno’s right hand firmly. “ – the cameras are trained to look after any suspicious sounds and movements and if we’re not careful, we’re gonna end up dead before we even notice it,” he cautioned, muttering the words right against Ohno’s ears to make sure he heard him loud and clear. Ohno nodded hesitantly and Nino pushed him back, crouching forward and letting his eyes wander for a moment when Ohno spoke again.

“ – but where are they? I don’t see any cameras anywhere,” Ohno mumbled with a hiss from behind Nino, his lips mostly attached against the back of Nino’s nape and if not for the fact that they were actually in the middle of a dangerous mission, he might’ve probably… “ – where? Where?” Ohno whispered, voice low and husky and Nino had to shut his eyes and forced himself to focus at the task he was asked to do and not think of anything that has nothing to do with this fucking mission (images of Ohno wearing a skirt and cat ears, down the floor, on his back, ohgod!) because if not… 

_Damn._  

“ – ‘course it’s hidden. They’re not as dumb as you are to put it somewhere we can easily see,” Nino gritted, grabbing his backpack from behind him and swiftly opening it. He scowled when his fingers found what he was looking for and wished he wouldn’t have to use it but he knew it was impossible. The filthy thing was designed specifically for this mission and as much as he loathed having to ask Ohno to help him with it, he didn’t have that many choices; he actually only have one and it’s pretty much the only thing Ohno would be able to help him with. Ohno on the other hand looked vaguely confused when he took out the device, his mouth forming an almost inaudible ‘Oh’ seeing that it actually resembled a~

“ – is that a _penis_?” 

Yes, that’s right… the fucking device was, in fact, a unique and realistic replica of someone’s (he didn’t dare ask who the fuck was it modeled from) penis, complete with pubic hairs and all that shit. 

Nino smirked, “ – what’s it look like?” he asked mockingly, placing the ‘penis’ upside down and switching it on by moving his fingers down and under, pressing the balls with a smug grin until it buzzed to life. Ohno gasped when the ‘penis’ slowly hardened, the tip of it glowing in shiny, darker shade of red. 

“ – it’s getting hard!” Ohno exclaimed and Nino choked a laugh at the look of pure astonishment stretched across Ohno’s face. 

“ – of course it is, silly…” he managed to blurt out. He grabbed Ohno’s hand, palm’s spread and placed the thing down and took another one from his bag, this time pulling out something he had to use in tandem of the glowing ‘penis’. “ – now hold that one for me while I prepare this baby and we’ll try to pinpoint the location of Sho-chan’s precious baby boy…” 

Ohno tried to look focused, furrowing his brows and biting the edge of his lips in concentration as Nino worked his fingers on the hand-held rectangular-shaped, touch-screen monitor the size of Jun’s vanity mirror while he stared without blinking at the glowing ‘penis’ resting at the center of his palm. 

“ – am I supposed to do something with it?” Ohno asked after a long moment, staring at the ‘penis’ in his hand. “ – Nino?” 

“ – lick it,” Nino commanded absently, eyes wholly focused on the small screen on his hand. He raised his eyes in time to see Ohno’s obviously scandalized face and his mouth twisted in a grimace. “ – no, really… you have to lick it because your saliva is it’s password to work. Chinen set it up that way and I only came to know about that when Jun handed that thing to me before I left to follow you. How he managed to get a sample of your saliva, you would have to tell me after this…” he mumbled, his blood boiling at the thought. “ - Also I don’t think I’d be able to kill that boy anytime soon coz Jun told me he filed for an indefinite vacation and went to hide in some disclosed island the minute Jun informed him he gave me his invention…” Nino said by way of explanation and scowled when Ohno shook his head repeatedly. 

“ – b-but it’s a p-penis!” Ohno stated, still mostly horrified at the thought of putting the thing to his mouth, keeping the device at arm’s length while Nino was pretty much trying to ignore him, and failing because Ohno looked really, really adorable and... “ – and I d-don’t think penises are supposed to be~” 

“ – this is not the right time to act all prude, you toasted agent! Hurry up and lick it! We don’t have that much time left! If we don’t hurry, Masaki’s head will surely end up displayed on one of that old bastard’s sculpture gallery and our gorgeous bodies will in turn end up swimming in the Dead Sea because Sho-chan will go after our necks and he will not stop until we’re both~” 

“ – okay, okay!” Ohno quickly retorted, cutting Nino’s words off and giving Nino a scowl of his own. “ – b-but, what exactly would happen if I lick this thing?” he asked, bringing the ‘penis’ near his mouth and stopping with his eyes narrowing in suspicion. 

“ – it will serve as a compass, you know… once you lick it, that and this,” he paused and pointed at the ‘penis’ then at the device that was still in his hand, “ – will work together to pinpoint the exact location where they are hiding that idiot. I just need to program it a little bit using this and then once I’m done, the ‘penis’ will point at the direction where Aiba is held captive and this awesome baby will guide us exactly how to go there without any possible hitches…”

Ohno actually cracked a smile at that and murmured “ – cool,” under his breath. 

Nino grinned and nudged at Ohno’s hand. “ – go and lick it Ohchan, so we can finish this and go home…” 

Ohno nodded, without much hesitation this time and breathed in deep before bringing the ‘penis’ to his mouth, closing his eyes at the same time he flicked his tongue out and rolled it over the head of the device. 

And then, 

“ – ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!” Ohno screamed, jerking his body and jumping up on his feet at the same time his fingers moved to wipe at his mouth, looking around him with a terrified expression stretched all over his face. 

Sho and Nino was immediately at his side, twin looks of genuine worry crossing their features as they both gripped Ohno’s arms, bracing themselves as they waited for the older man to focus his eyes. 

“Hey, hey, it’s okay.. it’s okay. It’s just a dream, you’re fine… we’re here… calm down, Satoshi…” 

Ohno shook his head, his whole body trembling as he grabbed Sho’s hand. “ – where is Aiba-chan?! Where is he?! We need to find him, he’s in danger!” he said frantically, one hand still wiping at his mouth and the gesture didn’t slip past Nino’s eyes as he reached over and grabbed Ohno’s hand, putting it down. 

Sho shushed him, running his fingers down the curve of his neck to calm him down. “ – he just went out to buy coffee for us, he’s okay.. you don’t have to worry about him…”

“ – no!” Ohno half-shouted, fingers clinging at the front of Sho’s shirt. “ – me and Nino were sent to save him. He’s… you sent us! Me and Nino,” he said incoherently, lifting his hand and wiping at his mouth again. 

“What the hell have you been watching, you idiot? Fuck, are you high? And could you please stop doing that?!” Nino grunted, but his voice was clearly layered with worries as Ohno backed away and moved to stand behind Sho, hiding his face against Sho’s slopping shoulders, still shaking. 

“Leader, what happened?” Jun asked from where he was standing, not that far from the three of them and watching them carefully. Ohno looked fairly scared and though he was also worried, he knew crowding the older man wouldn’t do him any good. Nino almost reached over to smack Ohno hard in the head but stopped short when Jun clicked his tongue and threw him a threatening stare. “ – leader,” 

Nino crossed his arms tightly over his chest and grumbled, “ – what I want to know is why the fuck he keeps on wiping his mouth!” 

Ohno then turned and jabbed an angry finger towards the slighter man, his eyes suddenly filled with silent tears. “ – Nino asked me to lick his penis and it exploded!” he muttered in horror, rendering the other three speechless before Jun broke his stance with a grunt, moving quickly in front of Nino and whacking Nino square across the head. 

“ – you are never taking Leader out on a drink, you pervert moron! Never again, you hear me? Never!” Jun shouted and took their leader into his arms, guiding the older man back to his couch and while Nino stood frozen on his feet, gaping. 

“ – b-but, but, I h-haven’t even~” he mumbled and paused because the next thing he saw was Sho on the floor, laughing his guts out.

 


End file.
